Why am I so angry?


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We all get angry from time to time - in some situations it is highly appropriate and indeed recommended. Many causes would not have been won without somebody somewhere getting angry at injustice or inequality. However, when that anger comes from a parent and is directed towards a child, the effects can be disruptive to our children - they can feel anxious, threatened, or confused by it.

Answer these questions with a “yes”, “no”, or “sometimes”:
- Do I shout when a child interrupts my train of thought?
- Am I particularly riled by even minor changes in the domestic schedule?
- Do all a child's requests suddenly seem excessive?

If you have said Yes to all or a majority of these your anger could be getting in the way of your parenting.

Anger is often a manifestation of the pressure we put on ourselves to be the perfect parent. Facing these pressures and looking at how realistic, or indeed, relevant they are to us is the first step to reducing the pressure and therefore the possibility of an angry flare up.

As parents it helps to:
- accept ourselves and acknowledge that we are doing the best we can
- recognise we have a choice about how we behave as parents
- share our thoughts, feelings and needs honestly and without fear of judgement
- look after ourselves and ask for and gain support from others

So next time you feel that anger boiling up because something is out of place or your child embarrasses you or has messed up your clean floor – take a deep breath and press the PAUSE button. Then think about how important the situation actually is to you and choose a more appropriate response. If all else fails – throw a 2 year old tantrum - in private of course!!

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